Posts by Lisa
How can I get my spouse to do something I think will really help our marriage?
That’s a question I’ve gotten a lot lately. Specifically, there have been several people who reached out because they started reading my new book Me and You – What I Wish I Knew and thought it could help their marriage, but their spouse said it wasn’t for them. I also get the question when someone…
Read MoreIs It Domestic Abuse or Dysfunction
Recently, I was part of a multi-day Shana Rishona Summit. My talk was entitled “Is It Domestic Abuse or a Difficult Transition”. There were questions posted to my page, but they were anonymous and there was no way to respond to them. Since they are common questions, the next few posts will address them and…
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How do you get comfortable expressing your needs to your spouse? Maybe you won’t,
but discomfort shouldn’t stop you.
Often, there are needs we have that we are uncomfortable expressing to a spouse. That’s ok. What’s problematic is when people want to wait until they feel completely comfortable expressing themselves before sharing their needs. In some instances that may work out, but all too often it backfires. In some instances, the person holds their…
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Having expectations isn’t the problem, insisting that your expectations are the right ones
is the problem.
It’s completely normal to come into marriage with expectations. Expectations about roles, chores, decision making, parenting styles, vacations, etc. The thing is, your spouse also came into the marriage with expectations, and often, not the same ones. Even if you have many things you agree on, it’s inevitable that your expectation and your spouse’s expectation…
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Is something bothering you about your spouse, or your in-law family? Make a request
not a confession!
It is a common assumption or expectation in marriage, that the ultimate measure of success in couple hood is to be able to say everything. To be so close that you are able to be completely open. Closeness and openness are important in marriage, but so are empathy and emotional intelligence. When you have something…
Read MoreIf marriage is about giving, why do we need to think about what we want to get? By Lisa Twerski, LCSW
There’s this interesting tension, when it comes to having the right attitude about marriage. We are supposed to focus on giving to our spouse, and vice versa. This is the core of a healthy marriage when each are getting but from a giving position. We’re not supposed to be focused on what we’re getting, but…
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