Posts by Lisa
How do you get comfortable expressing your needs to your spouse? Maybe you won’t,
but discomfort shouldn’t stop you.
Often, there are needs we have that we are uncomfortable expressing to a spouse. That’s ok. What’s problematic is when people want to wait until they feel completely comfortable expressing themselves before sharing their needs. In some instances that may work out, but all too often it backfires. In some instances, the person holds their…
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Having expectations isn’t the problem, insisting that your expectations are the right ones
is the problem.
It’s completely normal to come into marriage with expectations. Expectations about roles, chores, decision making, parenting styles, vacations, etc. The thing is, your spouse also came into the marriage with expectations, and often, not the same ones. Even if you have many things you agree on, it’s inevitable that your expectation and your spouse’s expectation…
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Is something bothering you about your spouse, or your in-law family? Make a request
not a confession!
It is a common assumption or expectation in marriage, that the ultimate measure of success in couple hood is to be able to say everything. To be so close that you are able to be completely open. Closeness and openness are important in marriage, but so are empathy and emotional intelligence. When you have something…
Read MoreIf marriage is about giving, why do we need to think about what we want to get? By Lisa Twerski, LCSW
There’s this interesting tension, when it comes to having the right attitude about marriage. We are supposed to focus on giving to our spouse, and vice versa. This is the core of a healthy marriage when each are getting but from a giving position. We’re not supposed to be focused on what we’re getting, but…
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